Republicans Call for Statehood for Red Planet

In the wake of evidence of liquid water being found on Mars, Congressional Republicans have called for Mars to become the 51st state.

The Red Planet: Soon to be a red state?

The Red Planet: Soon to be a red state?

While GOP leaders in Congress said their call for annexation was to spread freedom and open new markets, a staff member revealed another motive.

“Our caucus looked at all the support we get from red states and realized that a red planet could really help us come November,” said the insider.

It was thought that Democrats would move to block the process, but Nancy Pelosi said her party would likely go along with it. “We think the Republicans in the House are from Mars already. What’s a few more?”

Republicans, however, might be slowed by another factor. “It remains to be seen if Republicans will accept enough science to make this happen,” Neil deGrasse Tyson said. “The good news for Mars is that its atmosphere was shot to hell billions of years ago. The GOP can’t do any more damage.”

From the campaign trail, Donald Trump said, “I’m already huuuuuge on Mars. My Trump Mars a Lago Club is the greatest resort in the solar system.”

Calls to Red China were not returned.

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